Years ago I would just sit back and stare at my friends wishing I looked like them. I remember those moments we would all be fighting for mirror space trying to apply our makeup. I would always feel out of place even when I managed to do my makeup like them. I had always thought to myself that I would never look as pretty as they would. I use to compare myself to them and I didn't like what I came up with. There I was at the age thirteen thinking all of this. Back then the age of thirteen was usually the time that most girls began to think more about their appearance. At least that was the age when it began to matter to me. I began trying to be perfect at everything. I tried to be perfect the way I would dress, even the way I carried myself. Even back then I didn't set out and say to myself "I want to be perfect". I just found my self doing it . I would take tips from fashion magazines and I would cut out pictures of models of who I wanted to look like. I began to dress like my friends. I went from just basic clothes to wearing lots of black once because one of my friends began to dress Gothic.
But in the end I was still Plain Jane. I could never really let go of my old pair of jeans and my baggy shirts. That was what made me realize I would never be a full pledged fashionista or just like every other pretty girl . I was me and that had to be enough. So I did the one thing I knew to do. I wore what I wanted and made it clear I wasn't going to follow the crowd. I didn't have to be pretty. But deep down it did matter. Even when for awhile I stopped wearing makeup. My friends didn't say much but when it came time to go out, they always pushed me to "dress up". The problem was I didn't know how I wanted to be. I didn't know that I could still be pretty and look like myself. I was stuck. I thought if I gave in and just applied some eyeshadow and blush that I would become someone I didn't really like. So I continued to struggle with it, all the way up until high school. By then I was wearing what was comfortable. I liked it but something was missing still.
Years later I'm twenty one and I know exactly who Iam. I know That I'm pretty regardless whether I wear nice sunny dress. Whether I keep up with all the latest fashion. I'm pretty just wearing jeans and a shirt. I made the mistake when I was young to think that what I looked like and what I wore defined me. I know now it matters what's on the inside. I like to wear makeup when I feel like it. I get "dressed up" when I want to. I no longer strive to be perfect somehow. Because I know God created me, and he knew what he was doing. I love the skin Iam in now. Because of this I have latched on to a campaign that really has touched my heart.
The day that the MTV awards aired I watched with amazement as Demi loavto came on stage. I had recently heard her new song "Skyscraper". I knew it was a song about her recovery. It didn't surprise me that a young girl like her has struggled with her self image. Especially working in the industry that she does. In her speech she mentioned something I really like. Later on I researched it a little more and realized this chick is brilliant. Demi loavto's campaign is this: LOVE IS LOUDER...THEN THE PRESSURE TO BE PERFECT! I let that sink in for awhile. It rings true. I now know that you have to truly love yourself for who you are. Not for what people want to make you out to be. My only sadness is that young girls today are developing self image issues even younger then I was at thirteen. They strive for this "prettiness" and for "perfection".
My desire is that all women and young girls out there will learn about this campaign. That they will begin to see that perfection can be dismissed. I know that its not easy. I have been there and I know how much it hurts when you believe your not pretty. But I also know you can grow. You can learn what true beauty is and where it comes from. There's hope , you just have to find it. That's why I encourage you to rise up and find out for yourself what this campiagn is all about. Once you do, you'll see that Love can and always will be louder then the pressure to be perfect. I guarantee that!
Love always,
P.J
